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Where dyou go? I miss u so...

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say...

I'd have needed u but u werent there so I was alone.. Thinking about sayin goodbye to life. Maybe u didn know that I needed u.. Maybe noone of u had expected that, maybe Im just sick.. I still need u and I have no idea how much time u still have to recognice that. I told u you can have time as much as u want.. But the problem is, that I dont have so much time left..

Somedays I feel like I just want to jump and then I ask myself why I didnt do it that night. And how he made me wanting to stay.

Ho u made me wanting to stay.. and still.. If I werent so desperate then maybe Id say thank u but Im sorry.. I cant say thanku to somethin Im not happy about.

However.

8.9.06 21:04


Yesterday was the first school day and a new class.
Somehow it was fun but now i know that I cant ever win
I can try to. I can fight till I die.. Probably I will.. but I wont win. never. Against that I have no chance.
I think I lost my hope.. I cant see the light anymore. I just feel not-needed and annoying and helpless.. 
There are just a few people from u guys, who read the blog and try to understand it.. and from these few people, will there be anyone left who wil understand? i dont think so.. but yes..
byebye
 me
5.9.06 06:25


the other day..

Sunshine comes down.. slowly but really.. I can't see anymore.. I feel fear in the darkness.. don't you know that Im scared without?

I drink black water.. and red comes out again..

I am so alone. Noones there.

I don't want to make you cry. But please don't make me cry. You don't see that u are needed.. at least i need you. Please try to understand

2.9.06 09:19


Mysterious Africa

I love her hair!

31.8.06 22:18


Away

Where is the point when u are alone? When u dont have anybody around u or when u fell like having noone around u? And why do I feel like that? I HAVE NO IDEA! I mean, everybody tells me, that Im so favored and everyone likes me but i dont feel so.. i feel so alone at this time.. And Im not even able to help someone.. Im not even able to see whats right and whats wrong.. I always do the wrong decision. Im always annoying and in the way. I mean helpless and lonely and sooooooo annoying.. And I cant be honest. Everytime when I say what I honestly think, everything gets worse..

Just do it now and find peace again...

me

31.8.06 22:12


first day

tryin to be happy is not so easy as i thought. Finding out why u always feel annoying is much more difficult. Just to shut up and accept that ure the one who feels like shit is compared to that much easier.

Try to do everything for the people u love.. Even if u get broken.. Im fallin.. Im fallin..

Jealousy isnt always bad.. but in my case its bad cuz its ME who is jealous..

Sing for me.. Life is more than survive.. At least for the other people.. I hope I can be there if they need me.

Btw. If u are here.. then read the lyrics aside. They are for u.. Ure askin who is YOU? YOU are u.. No Matter who u are.

No Matter who u are.. No matter who is reading this blog.. I want u to have a great day! If its hard then just think about something special.. a sparkling day in your life..

Give every day the chance to become the best of your life.

Just me

30.8.06 08:07


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