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a better way...

some people think the world is a playground.. I admire them for thinking like this. I have the habit to see black all around..

And I miss him.. I miss him so bad that Im thinking about having a boyfriend. Just ....just for open arms to hold me, in which I can let me fall when Im desperate or happy... and a face which looks at me.. Maybe I cud fall in love a lil bit even if my heart belongs to someone else... Maybe I cud find a little place in my heart which doesnt belong to him. For that I am not that alone. For that I can feel somebodys love.

That sounds like a very desperate little whore right? But I dont mind.. maybe I am. that would be much easier than it is right now. I am close to wish that Im just a whore.

I cud start to swear. Maye I wudnt have these depressions anymore.. like.. this world is do f*cking kinda sh*t...

Tomorrow I will go out with friends... "Hörsturz" (hearfall) And I maybe will be a lil happier.


Turn out the light
Just say goodnight to yourself
may I remind you
when you find you
its all alone when you
youve gotta be strong
 cuz thats when they call you in the night
hes gotcha picture in his mind
hes gotcha number on a paper at his disposal anytime
Is it really true? Cud u sve yourself to someone who loves you 4 u
so many times we just give it away to someone who you
Met in a bar, the back of a car
and for a moment, u felt important but not in your heart
My self asteem has been low
go ahead and count its been lower than low,
I know the feeling
of its steeling
right out from under me
And I wanna learn
how u save yourself 4 someone who
loves u 4 u
so many times we just give it away 2 someone who
cudnt even remember your name
asve yourself 4 someone who
loves u 4 u
loves me 4 me
give it away 2 some1 who
some1 who
will cherish your name
will cherish your name
29.9.06 12:32

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